i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
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I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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