I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
