Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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