3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
