We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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