Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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