I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
