pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You may now shotgun with the bride
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
