Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize