I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
