My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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