I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
