umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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