I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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