I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
