If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
