my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
