Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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