I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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