he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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