you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize