I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
