I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
