it hurts more in the daytime
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
