Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
