if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
