garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
