it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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