that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
