I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
