i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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