Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
