Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
