um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
