i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Everything about him screamed your future.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
