i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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