If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
