ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
