i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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