My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
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There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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