being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
