I am in a vortex of obligation.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
