First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
