Plan B is the new Plan A
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize