Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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