Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
