I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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