I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So squirting runs in the family.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
