He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
