hell yes lets make some ravioli
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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