If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
