And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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