i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
