making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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