Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
