nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
