I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
