kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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