he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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