he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
