Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
