escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I wear drunk well.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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