playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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