Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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